I have come to realize that I have a hypomanic disposition. It takes
a lot to upset me, but I can be happily excited with a wink! On normal
days I love being so dauntless and self-assured. But then there are days,
like today, when all the confidence and self-worth becomes a little too
much for me to handle and I wish there would be something to make me feel
just a little less agile. There are so many thoughts going through my mind
right now, so many things I want to write about, but they are too disorganised
and too transient for me to take a note of. The ego state of mine that is a
Psychologist would call this 'flight of ideas'. I just like to call it
a patternless canvas with too many colors to distinguish one from another.
But then, I am not complaining. I love it! The only thing that is worrying
me a little right now is that I am not even a bit sleepy and I have a long day
ahead of me, and knowing me, I may not remain in this state long enough to
sustain the whole day tomorrow.
Anyway, that is besides the point right now. In this moment, I am enjoying
Louis Armstrong like I never have before, listening to him with a totally
fresh feeling. This is one of those moments when I am trasported to another
world - a world of intellectual superiority, great aesthetic sense, chivalry
and sophistication. A world where people live by passion and not reason.
A world where there are no conspiracies, no malice, where everyone
is so deeply awed by existence that they don't think of anything other than
making it as beautiful as can be. A world that I have never seen, but experienced
in the darkness of my mind. A world that I have only now begun to share with people,
in the hope that it might be out there somewhere, but a world that I had been
living in for a long time. A world that perhaps is just a fabrication of my mind,
a mental anthology, plagiarised bit by bit from everything that I have read. A world
that perhaps I will always only vicariously experience.
How glorious was that man! He stirred so much in me! He was truly blessed I'd say
to have had a voice like that! And he did complete justice to it! And so he sings -
'Everytime it rains, it rains pennies from heaven! Don't you know each cloud contains
pennies from heaven. You'll find your fortune fall all over the town. Be sure that
your umbrella is upside down!'
Haha.. I can't stop smiling in my mind! I am bordering insanity! Perhaps I am overdoing
everything, but then it makes me ecstatic!
a lot to upset me, but I can be happily excited with a wink! On normal
days I love being so dauntless and self-assured. But then there are days,
like today, when all the confidence and self-worth becomes a little too
much for me to handle and I wish there would be something to make me feel
just a little less agile. There are so many thoughts going through my mind
right now, so many things I want to write about, but they are too disorganised
and too transient for me to take a note of. The ego state of mine that is a
Psychologist would call this 'flight of ideas'. I just like to call it
a patternless canvas with too many colors to distinguish one from another.
But then, I am not complaining. I love it! The only thing that is worrying
me a little right now is that I am not even a bit sleepy and I have a long day
ahead of me, and knowing me, I may not remain in this state long enough to
sustain the whole day tomorrow.
Anyway, that is besides the point right now. In this moment, I am enjoying
Louis Armstrong like I never have before, listening to him with a totally
fresh feeling. This is one of those moments when I am trasported to another
world - a world of intellectual superiority, great aesthetic sense, chivalry
and sophistication. A world where people live by passion and not reason.
A world where there are no conspiracies, no malice, where everyone
is so deeply awed by existence that they don't think of anything other than
making it as beautiful as can be. A world that I have never seen, but experienced
in the darkness of my mind. A world that I have only now begun to share with people,
in the hope that it might be out there somewhere, but a world that I had been
living in for a long time. A world that perhaps is just a fabrication of my mind,
a mental anthology, plagiarised bit by bit from everything that I have read. A world
that perhaps I will always only vicariously experience.
How glorious was that man! He stirred so much in me! He was truly blessed I'd say
to have had a voice like that! And he did complete justice to it! And so he sings -
'Everytime it rains, it rains pennies from heaven! Don't you know each cloud contains
pennies from heaven. You'll find your fortune fall all over the town. Be sure that
your umbrella is upside down!'
Haha.. I can't stop smiling in my mind! I am bordering insanity! Perhaps I am overdoing
everything, but then it makes me ecstatic!
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